32 Weeks!

We’ve made it to 32 weeks!  Yay!

The baby was super active today.  Maybe due to this crazy activity (my whole belly was deformed and moving!) or something else, I started feeling some mild irregular contractions and abdominal cramping this morning and early afternoon.  The nurse hooked me up to a monitor and said that the baby looked fine, and that I probably had some uterine irritability because of baby’s movement.  I laid low for most of the afternoon today because of this.  The cramping seems to come and go, but with no regular pattern to it.

Two weeks of bed rest are taking their toll.  I’m loosing muscle mass and feel myself getting weaker.  My joints are a little sore from lack of use.  A physical therapist came by the other day and gave me some moves that I can do while on bed rest to prevent myself from turning into a jelly fish. The moves are really easy, but are better then nothing. 

I really do miss moving around.  Last night I dreamt that I was no longer pregnant and ran 18 miles barefoot along Charles River!  It felt great! Around this time last year I actually did a couple of 18 mile runs along Charles River in preparation for the Dublin marathon.  I never did them barefoot though.  Anyway, those 18 milers were not as fun in reality as they were in this dream last night.

Despite the slight physical discomforts of my current situation, I’ve actually managed to enjoy bed rest so far.  Some sort of maternal instincts (and/or maybe hormones) kicked in, and my body peacefully went into “incubator mode”, a mode I did not know I had.  I am happy to report that I am all caught up with the Kardashians, and have watched wayyyyy too much TV.  I also spent a lot of time in the blogosphere, reading several blogs written by female scientists and by parents of premature babies.

To me, two of the most difficult aspects of my current situation are: i) impaired ability to focus, and ii) not having a plan.  A lot of what’s happening with my body right now is beyond my control, and it makes it tough to focus and make plans.  In general, I think it’s difficult to focus while laying or sitting in bed.  At least for me, a bed would not be a place of choice for solving complex problems and getting work done.  With some effort, I found that I can stay focused maybe for an hour or two, and then I have to take a break.  I also read somewhere (it might have been one of those blogs by female scientists) that the ability to be productive and get work done 1-2 hour increments is an acquired skill.  So I’m working on that.

As far as planning goes, making and executing plans with some reliable certainty was central to my existence before I got hospitalized.  I realize now that I can’t quite plan things, and may not be able to for a while, like I used to.  This whole “one day at a time” philosophy does not come natural to me, but I’m working on it :-)  Yesterday was my first attempt at planning my day since I got hospitalized.  I made a small "to do" list, I was able to do a little bit of work, and get a few things done.  Today, I thought I might try the same strategy.  I had a small plan in mind, but then my baby decided to practice some kickboxing, and my uterus decided to practice contracting.  So I spent most of the day laying in bed so far, focusing on breathing and staying relaxed.  Oh well, I guess today is the day to roll with the punches.  Let’s just hope those mild sporadic cramps and contractions don’t progress to active labor.  And if they do, it’s good to know that, unlike me, the doctors DO have a plan for what happens next. I’ll keep you posted.