Day 5

Daddy changing Nicholas' diaper.

We have been at BWH for over a month now. While our stay here is coming to an end, our Nicholas adventure is just beginning. Tonight is the last night sleeping at the hospital for Kat and I which is both exciting and a little scary. While we are excited about getting to sleep in our bed again, getting reunited with Kona (and the rest of the zoo) and leaving the overall hospital setting behind, we will definetly miss some of the amenities of BWH (i.e. room service, room cleaning & care, etc). One of the hardest things will be having to commute back and forth between home and the hospital for the next week or so to care for Nicholas while in the NICU (by the way, for non-romanian speakers, Nicu is short for Nicholas :)).

In other news, Nicholas is now off the iv and has just completed his second feeding entirely by bottle (a huge achievement). If he continues at this pace, Nicholas should be getting his feeding tube removed soon as well. At that point he will probably only stay in the NICU for a few more days under observation and then released to go home.

Tanning

Besides getting taken off the oxygen monitor because he is doing so well on his own, today Nicholas also started "tanning" (jaundice phototherapy). He is also getting ready (probably in the next 12 hours) to get taken off the iv as he continues to learn how to multi-task (suck, swallow and breathe - he sounds like a triathlete already). He had his third attempt at the bottle with Daddy at the helm, giving mommy a well deserved rest.

The First Three Days

Here are a few pictures from the last three days.

Our sleep deprivation is slowly setting in. Kat is slowly but steadily recovering from the surgery. Aiding her with her soreness is a cocktail of pain meds and narcotics. At this point Nicholas is getting fed every 4 hours. He is getting a mix of dextrose, sterilized donor-bank breast-milk and mommy's own. For now his food is delivered through the iv (dextrose), feeding tube and bottle (sterilized donor-bank breast-milk mixed with mommy's own). The goal is to get Nicholas to the point where the only food he is taking in is mommy's own breast-milk directly from the source. While the iv is slowly phased out as the amount delivered through the feeding tube is increased, breast feeding is a process that will take some time to be mastered by both mommy and baby.In other news, daddy Razzy is getting proficient and changing diapers, doing the bum cleanup that comes with the job, and measuring temperature. The biggest learning experience was that the peeing apparatus must be covered at all times.

Reporting on behalf of the family, Razvan.

Nicholas sleeping peacefully - submarine view.

Nicholas' first Halloween - poster made by his nurses.

Nicholas' temporary home - incubator in the NICU.
In order to keep light out - yellow submarine blanket.

Mama's boy.

Nicholas getting skin to skin care (Kangaroo care).

Nicholas' first bottle meal.

Nicholas is here!

Nicholas, just a few minutes after birth.

We are happy to report that Nicholas has arrived!

He was born at 9:36am, weighing 5 pounds and measuring 17 inches.

Kat is now recovering and Grandma Sofya and I are by the bedside. We just completed our first trip down to the NICU where we visited Nicholas as he was peacefully sleeping.

Nicholas, reunited as Kat makes her way up to the recovery room.

Nicholas, holding his daddy's finger.

The Last Day of Pregnancy

We’ve made it to 34 weeks! Today is our last day of pregnancy!  We are ready to say goodbye to the belly, and meet the baby.

Goodbye, Belly!

This baby has been a part of me for almost 8 months, and I’ve enjoyed sharing my body, blood, nutrients, oxygen with him.  At this point, there is not much benefit for him to stay inside me for much longer, because the risks of infection are high.  Now it’s time for him to face the world on his own.  I hope that he’s going to be a tough little guy and adapt well.

Razvan and I are super excited for tomorrow!  We are also a little nervous and anxious about it all, but we are trying to stay positive and focus on meeting the baby.

Baby, we are ready for you!

We had a nice and relaxing day today.  We got to spend some quiet time together, and get out into the NICU garden to take some last pictures of the belly.  It’s amazing how big my belly got!

Wow! I never thought my belly would get this big!

Our dog Kona helped to distract us and keep our spirits up today by appearing as “puppy of the day” on dailypuppy.com.  It was fun to read all the cute comments from her admirers.  This definitely helped us pass the time while waiting around for the big day.

Well, hopefully in about 12 hours from now Razvan will be posting some cute baby pictures on this blog.  I’m going to pop a sleeping pill shortly and try to get some sleep before the big day.  Until later!

"Space Race"

33 weeks and 5 days

Only a couple of days left until we get to meet our baby boy!  It seems that my condition is becoming somewhat unstable.  I’ve been a lot more uncomfortable and experienced a lot more uterine irritability and contractions in the past few days.  This is to be expected as my internal organs are becoming more and more compressed by the growing baby, and there is a fight for space between various organs.  Now that it’s bigger, the uterus gets easily aggravated and starts contracting for all kinds of reasons, like baby’s movement, dehydration, full bladder, full intestines, full stomach, and who knows what else.  These contractions don’t progress to active labor and seem to go away on their own when the underlying issues irritating the uterus are resolved.  I’m definitely ready to meet the baby on Friday, and hope I can last until then without spontaneously going into labor.

We had another ultrasound today to make sure the baby is growing and to look at his position.  The baby is still breech, so C-section is still the plan for delivery.  His estimated weight today was 4 lbs 3 oz, which is within the normal range for his gestational age.  Yay!  Maybe I can still fatten him up by a few ounces before Friday…

The Home Stretch

I am filling in for Kat today. The last few days have been a little crazy. hence the lack of posts. Kat has been experiencing some cramping and a few contractions. That has bought us a trip to the labor floor Saturday evening that lasted until the wee hours on Sunday. For me that meant lack of sleep. For Kat it meant being strapped to the monitor belts for a few hours to check the baby’s heart and her contractions. It also meant Kat getting an IV hooked up after getting poked for a bit and having to give up drinking fluids (one of her favorite things), while being limited to ice chips. After all both Kat and I were happy to be back in our room on the 8^th floor with the baby still put.

After making up for some of the lost sleep the night before, Sunday started out with a late breakfast followed by visits from dear friends and family. Not to trigger any more trips down to the labor floor, Kat decided to take a break from our usual late afternoon wheelchair stroll down to the NICU floor terrace, and instead concentrate on relaxing.

Thus our weekend came to a close and we entered the final week of pregnancy. We are full of hope and excitement and are counting the days until we get to finally meet Nicholas.

Monday is almost at a close and yet another uneventful day is behind us. We just finished watching the 1989 movie “Look who’s talking” and decided it’s time to update the blog, but given Kat has not been in the right mental and physical condition to do it (not wanting to cause any unnecessary contractions) we decided I would take on the task. While I know my writing does not compare to Kat’s scientific narration style, I agreed to do it. I thought this would be my warm up for the days to follow our Friday scheduled c-section. Hope you can all check in sometime on Friday afternoon for some updates and pictures.

C-section Scheduled for 10/29/2010

My C-section is scheduled for Friday, October 29, 2010 8:30am.  It will be performed by Dr. David Olson, and will take about an hour.  The baby should be out within the first 5 minutes of surgery.  The rest of the time will be used to clean up the uterus and stitch me up.  Razvan will be with me in the OR the entire time to support me and meet the baby!

Here’s the plan.  Around 7am, I will be transferred to the pre-operating room to prepare for surgery.  I’ll be given an IV, and a shot of anesthesia into my spine (spinal block), which will numb everything below my rib cage, but allow me to remain awake through the entire surgery and see my baby when he is born.  I have to fast (no eating or drinking) starting at midnight the night before to reduce the risk of aspirating the contents of my stomach into my lungs during surgery.

Once in the OR, the doc will perform the first incision on my skin around the bikini line.  He will then separate my abs, and perform a second incision on my uterus.  Then he’ll pull the baby out, remove the placenta, and clean up my uterus, and stitch me back up.  The NICU team will be in the OR to take care of and stabilize the baby immediately.  Once the baby has been cleaned up and stabilized, we should be allowed to touch him and take pictures.  The NICU team will then transfer the baby to the NICU.  The length of baby’s stay in the NICU will totally depend on how mature the baby is, and how well he’s doing.

I am both scared and excited!!!  10/29/10 will actually mark one month since my hospitalization.  I’m glad that we were able to buy this much more time for the baby inside me.  I’m really looking forward to meeting the little guy!!!

Wish us luck!!!

Maternity Leave

In the United States, “The Family Medical Leave Act” (FMLA) allows a person to take up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave with job protection for family-related medical reasons.  These reasons can include the birth and care of the employee’s child, adoption of a child, or care for health of a family member.  This act, however, does not apply to those who have been at their job for less than a year before taking their leave, to those working in a small company (less than 50 employees), and to those who are not considered to be “official employees” (e.g., graduate students at a private university in MA). FMLA also does not provide any guarantee for paid leave, although many employers may choose to provide paid leave as part of employee’s benefits package. 

Most other industrialized countries have a different view of maternity leave than the United States.  Check out these pictures to learn more:

Length of maternity leave around the world.

Percent of wages paid to employees on maternity leave around the world.

In case you are not familiar with lives of Ph.D. students in science, we typically receive a monthly stipend for research/teaching assistantship and health insurance.  The exact source of income varies, but typically comes from federal grants, private grants or fellowships, the department, or some combination of the above.

Harvard University has NO maternity leave policy for graduate students.  At Harvard, graduate students are not considered to be university employees.

In my department, each student basically negotiates the arrangements for her maternity leave individually with her advisor.  How much leverage does a student have in that negation?  Whichever way you spin it, I think it’s hard to make a convincing case against the fact that your advisor has no obligation to pay you your stipend or make accommodations for you to maintain your active student status while you are consumed by taking care of yourself and the baby immediately after giving birth.  This lack of policy essentially leaves the student at complete mercy of the Ph.D. supervisor.  

It is understandable that the university and the department would want to avoid implementing an official maternity leave policy for graduate students.  Who wants to be financially liable for something that they are not mandated to be liable for by any law?  From a student’s perspective, this is not helpful at all. 

I think the situation is exacerbated by the fact that, if your advisor does indeed choose to pay you while you are on leave, the source of income for graduate students on maternity leave is not supposed to come from federal grants (because certification of effort is requires).  In this case, the income is supposed to come from a non-sponsored fund (What’s that? Who has that kind of money?).

Pregnant graduate students are a fairly rare occurrence in the Department of Chemistry and Chemical Biology at Harvard, but I’m told that in recent cases graduate students who had babies and took some time off for maternity leave continued to receive a stipend and remain in active status while on this “unofficial” leave.  I’m curious if their stipend actually came from those non-sponsored funds.

The situation is completely different for postdocs.  Postdocs are considered to be university employees, and their maternity leave policies are clearly outlined, and mandated by state and federal laws.  Postdocs get 13 weeks of paid maternity leave.  This is paid for by 8 weeks short term disability, 4 weeks parental leave, and 1 week from vacation time (if any). Otherwise, the 13th week is unpaid.  Why can’t it be the same for graduate students?

When I learned about all of this, a part of me wanted to fight the system, speak up, and do something about changing the policy for graduate students.  Another part of me just wanted to defend my thesis and get out.

My major comfort in all of this is that I have a supportive husband with a source of income.  My original plan (fully supported by my advisor) was to defend my thesis before the baby comes.  That way I would exit “the system” before the spring semester starts, my ties with Harvard would be severed, and I would take some time off, free from work-related responsibilities, to be with the baby until I start my next job (September 2011).  That plan is no longer feasible.  My thesis is still not finished, and I’ll need to come up with a new plan at some point…

33 Weeks!

After 3 weeks of hospitalization, the baby and I made it to 33 weeks together!  We are going strong and are hoping to make it to 34 weeks!

The baby has been wiggling a lot last night, so I was hoping that maybe he would turn around from breech (butt down) to vertex (head down).  I woke up in the middle of the night, and saw the whole circumference of his head poking at the top of my belly, right above the belly button!  Unless he has buns of steel, he’s definitely still breech.

Despite feeling the baby move and seeing imprints of various body parts through my belly, I still have a difficult time believing that there is a ~4-lb baby inside me who is going to have to face the world on his own in about a week.  I know he has a beautiful spine, brain, and lungs based on the ultrasound, but I still can’t even imagine what he really looks like.  Last night I had a little meltdown about the prospect of having this little human surgically extracted from me before his due date.  Luckily, Razvan was here to comfort me and calm me down.  The prospect of C-section no longer scares me as much as it did 3 weeks ago, my main source of fear now is well-being of my baby.  I really hope the little guy makes it out healthy.

For some reason, every time I try to work on my thesis, my uterus decides to practice contracting.  This is a normal occurrence this late in pregnancy, and usually these types of contractions are painless, irregular, and are not supposed to lead to the dilation of the cervix.  Once I lie down and relax the contractions go away.  Perhaps it’s a sign that I should take it easy.  I’m kind of stubborn though, and would like to get a revised draft of my thesis to my advisor before heading off to the operating room.  So I periodically keep trying to get the thesis in order.  The uterus is the boss, though.  She has total control over my body right now, and she is the one who ultimately decides whether or not that thesis draft will make it in.


Here are some pictures we took in the garden outside the NICU today:

33 weeks!  Front view.

33 weeks! Side view.